Camden's 6th birthday party

Although Camden's real birthday is not for a few more days, we celebrated early. Camden wanted a Mario themed party (because he loves the games so much), so Mario it was! We had a good turn out of friends and family. We sure enjoyed the kids. They were all so polite, friendly, and helpful. I am grateful Camden has been blessed with such good friends. Here is a smattering of pictures from our Mario fest.

This is Camden's cake. I made all of it, except the figurines. My friend Sarah helped me freehand some of the fondant work. Camden loved his cake!
When the kids arrived, they colored Mario themed pictures until all the kids got there.
The kids were all given a Mario mustache to wear if they wanted. It was so much fun to see these little kids with these huge dark mustaches.
We played a matching game first of various Mario characters. The kids earned a coin for each match they made. After that, we played Smash Boo. We blew up white balloons and drew Boo's face on each of them. The kids were each given a Boo to sit on to squish. When their Boo pooped, they got another coin. It was hilarious watching the kids sit on these balloons.
While we were smashing Boo, it decided to rain outside, which meant the kids got a little wet during the next game, Yoshi egg hunt. We hid eggs stuffed with candy and coins around our condo and once the rain let up, we sent the kids out to find them. They got to keep all the eggs they found.
Then we did a Goomba Stomp. This was the favorite game of all the kids. We drew Goomba faces on balloons (blue because we could not find brown ones in our town). Then we dumped them on the ground and let the kids have at it. They stomped and stomped until all were popped. They got a coin for each Goomba they squished.
Look at the ground just littered with popped balloons (and all the kids pitched in to pick up the scraps without being asked - these kids were awesome!). After this, the kids got to change in their coins for their reward bags. The bags included bubbles, punching balloons, candy coins and regular coins, Mario fruit snacks, Cosmic brownies, and assorted other candy.Because it was still wet and slightly muddy outside, we came back inside for our last game, Mario, Mario, Luigi (like duck, duck, goose). Our space was a little too small for this game, so the kids were hopping over each other and all over the place. It was pretty funny to watch them and they were pretty creative!
After all the games, we opened presents. Camden got royally spoiled. He loved everything he got.
Finally, after presents, we ate pizza (Mario is Italian after all) and had cake and ice cream. Then the kids just played until their parents picked them up. It was a great time! Everything went smoothly and other than a little rain, it was a perfect day! Here is Camden, thrilled with his party and his day (notice the 2nd missing tooth?). I love that tomato sauce smeared face!

Incredible (not edible) Cam

Sometimes being the mother of a child with issues can break your heart. Most of the time, it’s easy to focus on all the ways Camden is normal, rather than notice his differences. I see all the progress that he has made in the past few years and I am proud of how much he has grown and progressed. But sometimes something happens that brings it all back to your forefront, reminding you yet again that your child isn’t “normal” and may never fit in completely. Yesterday was one of those days that hit me over the head like a brick, leaving me weeping for my child.

Yesterday I picked up my boys from Grandma’s house. She takes care of them during the times when both Mark and I are working. She lives about 20 minutes away, so the drive home is a good chance to talk to my boys about their day. I turn off all music on the drive home and just talk to my sons. After the normal questions – What did you do at school today? Who did you play with? What did you learn? – Camden just started to talk. As he talked, he told me about a group of children at school who call him names, who (according to him) always tease him, and, apparently yesterday, told him his mother was going to die.

Now, I have taught long enough to realize this is kid stuff. Kids are mean to each other. Kids call each other names or say mean things all the time. It’s nothing new or unusual. I am also perfectly aware that Camden is probably not innocent. Knowing my son, he said or did something first that provoked this meanness. I wasn’t there and I am sure I don’t know the full story.

I don’t take what the kids said to Camden personally. Normally it would roll just right off my back. I’m not sure why it bothered me so much yesterday. Maybe it was because I am tired and stressed right now. I just finished two days of presentations to other teachers and have a big project due this week. Maybe it’s because I am hormonal right now. Maybe it’s because Camden takes what other kids say so literally and I have to explain to a worried child that his mother is not going to die (nothing is wrong with me that I know). Maybe it’s just another brick in all the things Camden has going against him that toppled the emotional wall. I’m not sure the reason, but I was left again with the many thoughts that race through my mind on so many occasions.

Why is it that we target so easily those who are different than us? Why is it that we can so easily focus on what is wrong with a person rather than what is right with that person? Why is it that we look for reasons to tear each other down rather than lift each other up

I look at my beautiful son with his beautiful soul. He has so much to offer. There is so much that is right with that child, so much that is wonderful. Daily I delight in this precious treasure. Why is it that others cannot see what I see when I look at him?

I get regular emails from Camden’s school, telling me about another behavior problem. I appreciate those emails because I always follow up with consequences at home (I do not let the fact that my son has PDD-NOS and SPD excuse his behavior), but I know there are other parents don’t get those emails because their child doesn’t have problems at school. I have coworkers who chuckle when I say I got yet another email from his school, smug in the fact that they never received such communication about their child. At church I get questions asking about how Camden is behaving that day because they don’t want him to act up yet again. It seems like everywhere we go, somebody is judging my son because he has some issues and because, as a result of those issues, he doesn’t always act like all the other kids his age.

I hate the fact that Camden’s only safe haven, the only place he is loved unconditionally, is his home. I hate the fact that the only people to focus on the positives of Camden, rather than the negative, are a few family members and close friends. I hate the fact that each day my son walks into a world where judgment and criticism face him at every turn and I can do nothing to stop it.

Instead of noticing that my child sometimes scratches his butt in public or sometimes picks his nose, why not notice how he can define the word nocturnal? Instead of noticing how my SPD child hums to himself to block out noise, why not notice how his sensitive hearing allows him to memorize and repeat funny lines from TV and movies? Instead of noticing his obsession with video games, why not notice the creative games he creates to play with friends or the detailed pictures he draws as a result of these video games? Instead of asking if Camden is going to behave during the Primary program (after you sat a kid with SPD right by the organ during the opening exercises), why not notice he is probably the only kid his age with his speaking part memorized, needing no help or prompting at the podium? Instead of noticing how quirky he is or that he sometimes says socially awkward things, why not notice how he loves to talk to anybody at any time and has never met a stranger?

My son, with all his uniqueness, has so much to offer this world. Yesterday, as we drove home and after the conversation about the kids being mean, Camden said, “Look at those beautiful lines” as he pointed at the power lines running alongside the road. He proceeded to tell me how awesome power lines were with their dips between poles creating waves. Then he said, “It’s amazing how those lines attach to houses.” What a profound observation! Here I was, focusing on the gray road ahead of me and silently worrying about my son, while he was noticing the beauty of something so simple – power lines. When was the last time you stopped to noticed power lines, let alone the way they look and work?

I would not change my son for the world. Camden, with all his quirkiness and issues, with all the things that make him challenging, is so uniquely beautiful. His issues make him who he is. He is charming and endearing. He is funny and smart. He is perfect, just the way he is. I have no doubt that God made him this way. Wishing away his issues would be wishing away the essence of my son, my first born, the child who made me a mother and I would never wish that away. I only wish others could look for and focus on all that makes my son completely incredible.

Cast of Characters - Camden

Since this is a new blog, I first want to reintroduce the important people in my life (namely my family) and give an update on their lives.Camden is my sensitive, smart, super five year old son. Camden does not have it easy, having a diagnosis of both PDD-NOS and Sensory Processing Disorder. Camden was diagnosed with these issues in the summer of 2009 after a long, arduous process that began with being expelled from a private preschool school and culminated with seeing a multitude of specialists to finally get a diagnosis (which is documented here, here, here, here, and here). Even with a diagnosis, my district preschool refused to provide any services to Camden, saying his issues did not affect his academics. Camden continued at that preschool as a paying student, where he made great progress in many of his issues, in spite of not receiving services.Camden is now in kindergarten and doing very well. He still struggles a bit, although the PDD-NOS is not a concern as much as the sensory issues are, but overall, he has made so much progress. He loves school and learning. He has an awesome teacher who handles him so well. He is beginning to read fluently and is academically advanced in many areas. I love sitting down with him at night, with a stack of books, and taking turns reading to each other. It is so much fun to watch him blossom into a little reader and into a good student.Camden loves his little brother and his family. He loves to tease and tell knock knock jokes. He says the funniest things and often keeps his dad and I in stitches with what he says. His favorite activity is playing on the Wii (I have a game addict on my hand already), but he also enjoys drawing, building, and creating. He is also turning into a great little helper around the house. Camden is an animal lover. He likes any sort of animal and has a special affinity for dogs, cats, and horses. He loves to be outside and wants to learn to ride a bike without training wheels this summer.Each day I learn more layers to his beautiful soul. He is a truly incredible child and I feel so lucky and blessed to be his mother. He teaches me more than I could possibly ever teach him. He is one of the greatest blessings I have ever received. I am grateful each day for this precious soul in my life.